Onomi

     I'm Onomi, but others also know me as shitass from gaming communities, and close friends know me as Saph. My personality mixes between these different expectations of me at different times and contexts, so I've grown into a mixed bag of interests and sub-cultures. I'm trans, with my gender expression somewhere in-between being envious of femininity and being turned off by hyper-femininity while still acting like the gamer-bro I grew up as. 

        I have a long and complex relationship with video games that has defined a majority of me as an individual. My first video game was when I was 5 in 2007 and played Mario Kart: Double Dash on the GameCube. I was instantly hooked by the satisfying input, visual feedback and beautiful animations of the game even as a kid. The game even had PvP elimination battle arenas that me and my friends were super competitive about during sleep-overs. I grew up in an era of absolute gaming masterpieces, even compared to modern standards: Super Mario Galaxy, Epic Mickey, Rabbids Go Home, Wii Sports: Resort, and all sorts of interesting titles that pushed the boundaries of the time. As a result, I have a very high standard, not so much in quality, but in taste and inspiration, therefore I aspire to create things that are inspired and continue to inspire. Inspiration can come in many forms and be passed on through a variety of means, and as long as we know how to look for it, we will find it.

Why? - 

        First, what do I mean by "egotistical communist"? I mean it in its most literal definition possible. It's probably the best descriptor for me and that's what I have chosen. In the midst of revolutionary struggles, it is easy to forget the main driving force of our movements, which are the individuals in all their nuanced uniqueness. Egoism is therefore a form of radical self-care in understanding the importance of you, as much as the Marxist notion of History's impact on the present. Individuals are the history of creation.  

        I first got into game development after becoming burnt out with attempting to grow an esports career. Not due to my own capability or performance, but from the quality of care put into the games by the devs for the sake of easy money grabs and disgusting predatory practices that are now seen as industry standard nowadays. The Game series I'm referring to is Call of Duty. I was a certified kid prodigy in the days of Advanced Warfare to Black Ops 3. After the release of Infinite warfare, teenage me could easily see where this was heading, and decided to jump ship onto Overwatch. There I ran into the same problem, an overly advertised game on both the sales and esports fronts just like Call of Duty, in which a game was sloppily put together based on gimmick design philosophy and failing to learn from core inspirations of its own genre. Management was wasting the crazy high potential of incredibly talented artists and creators, and therefore I can say with confidence that both of these titles have inspired me through their artistic tastes (even with Call of Duty's problematic political positions and Activision Blizzard's horrendous workplace history). Even in places where toxicity and arrogance lay bare and are allowed to flourish, creation and inspiration still prevails; further shown by my own experiences with esports.   

(most importantly) Where? - 

        Where we are going is not absolute, we can change our ways using our very will; this is what makes us human. I am walking a path that understands its own history and architecture in heavy detail, all etched in stone, but not even the path knows where it will end up; that is for me and you to decide. In our endless depth, we have found peace with the unknown and seek to find the fun within it all. I welcome you fully on a journey into the derangedly hopeful and the hopefully deranged. A journey of creation, destruction, and inspiration.